Dr. Pinhas,
I took your human sexuality class at Queens College I believe in 1979.
You were a fabulous professor. I am gay and you had me bring to class my boyfriend for “show and tell”. It was an amazing and uplifting experience for the both of us.
I truly loved the class and got so much out of it.
I just wanted you to know you have been remembered all these years.
All my best,
Jay F
Response from Dr. Pinhas
Hi Jay,
I do vaguely recollect you from thirty years back and I am thrilled that your recollections of the class and the experience of ” show and tell” was a powerful one for you. In those days, the culture was just getting exposed to gay people as regular folk and those “show and tell” events were exceedingly useful for changing attitudes. Of course you recollect that this was a time before ” Will and Grace” and “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy”, media presentations that were designed to expose and create a “nonthreatening” albeit humorous understanding of gay lifestyle. But as I see it, these types of “dog and pony” shows, in an of themselves, created stereotypes that also had to be deconstructed. Yea, Yea, Ellen DeGeneris would not be a household name without all of the groundbreaking efforts to out gays to America and the world that took place before her entry onto the mass media scene. Consider you and your boyfriend, as part of the groundbreaking movement to make homosexuality, as a sexual orientation, a NON-ISSUE. Sexual orientations need to become NON-ISSUES in our culture and individual people need to be accepted as equals and not on the basis of gender orientation.
Now if we could only translate this philosophy into a platform for the various state legislators to support Gay Marriage as a principle in life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, America would truly be a more just place to live.
Jay, any thoughts about what is happening in Uganda?
I would love to hear back from you
Valerie
Hi Valerie,
Your response to my post was quite refreshing to read. It is truly amazing how far the “gay movement” has come in 30 years. When I brought my boyfriend to your class I can remember being a little nervous. I wasn’t sure how we would be received by the class. My recollection is tht alot of my co-students simply had interesting questions to ask about our relationship.
It is sad to say that in 2010 there are still so many people in this country that are not comfortable with the GLBT community. Why would people want to deny us “equal rights” under the law? Why would people want to stop 2 human beings who are in love from marrying? There are many answers to these questions and it is important that the dialogue be kept going if we are ever to see real equality in this country.
The situation in Uganda is frightening. They want to pass legislation that could result in the death penalty if a persone were to come out as gay or lesbian. Correct me if I am wrong……I’m not sure if the legislation has passed? The scarier part about it is there are right wing zealots from this country who have gone to Uganda to support the legislation.
Yes we have come a long way since 1979 but we have a long way to go!!!!
Jay
My understanding of the Uganda debacle is that legislation was proposed in that homophobic regime that would provide the death sentence for “active” homosexuals ( LGT) who are HIV positive and those that have participated in same-sex forcible sodomy and same-sex acts with minors. Those (LGT) folks who want to express themselves in consenting sexuality, where the two parties are of the same sex, get life imprisonment. Furthermore, friends and family who fail to report alleged homosexuals to the authorities can get pelted with seven years imprisonment. Landlords who rent homes to alleged gays could also face seven years and anyone with institutional authority like teachers, religious leaders, politicians will receive three years of punishment if they fail to report gays within a 24 hour time frame. I say let’s just bring back those beloved Third Reich Boys, the Gestapo, to do Uganda’s dirty work; after all why not use the lessons learned from the world’s most experienced death machine for mass human extermination. I don’t believe I can play my outrage straight, given the vileness of this homophobia. My sarcasm is a form of psychic protection.
The bill is not a fete de complete. Should we thank a higher deity for its “pending” status? It may get modified due to international outrage. The essence of this insane, sick proposed action is to prevent Ugandan youth from western influence because apparently the way we Americans lead our lives seems to be enviable and only the death sentence could dissuade impressionable youth from the moral abyss of homosexuality.
If you think Uganda is daft, let me open your perspective. Nigeria has laws on the books against homosexuality with death as the focus and they plan to strengthen these laws…… what’s worse than death? Burundi has legislated against same-sex relationships and Rwanda, country of serious genocidal tendencies is considering banning homosexuality.
So how did this situation get so inflammed? Here we go again– the problem is religion masking as psychological science. Well a bunch of good ole boys from Christian ministries that believe that faith in the Lord can change one’s essential disposition, are essentially responsible for aggravating an existing homophobic Ugandan predisposition. A group of Conservative American anti-gay activists who believe that homosexuality is immoral and sinful, attended a conference in Kampala. The focus of said gathering was to express support for “sexual reorientation counseling” through prayer and “psychological” support. Sounds like brainwashing to me. Oops! None of the conference attendees ever meant this bill to go sooooo far as to include death. Be careful what you preach, guys, those Africans are on a pink triangle crusade. So our American evangelical folk are now distancing themselves from Uganda’s stance, so is the Ugandan President who knows where his bread is buttered ( Western Financial Aid). Yet a noted Ugandan preacher is calling for a million person march in favor of the bill. Wild isn’t it?
I give Kudos to Jay F. for his courage back in the late 1970s when being gay was not so easy. Bringing in his boyfriend to class must have been a real eye opener for some of the students. I have found that when people know a gay person their views slowly beging to change.
There are exeptions….i.e. Dick Cheney. He has a lesbian daughter….how can he live with himself when he doesn’t recogninze his own daughter’s right to marry. Acually using Cheny as an example is a poor choisce because not much of what he thinks or puts out there makes any sense.
When I read about programs that are set up to “change homosexuals” I am totally baffled. If a heterosexual person wanted to change to a gay orientation is there a program for that? I think not! People are born gay….PERIOD!!
Thanks for your post on Uganda. It was really informative and scary at the same time….and thanks to Jay F. for his post as well.
You are welcome cindy. The Uganda situation is scary. I’ll update it when something gets concluded. Thanks for posting your thoughts about Jay as well. It’s nice to affirm others that post their point of view in a responsible way.
I have been following the posts on Uganda, as well as Jay’s and Cindy’s posts.
I am a gay male who unfortunely did not have the same positive experience as Jay did. I am 24 and both my parents do not know I am gay. A matter of fact I am so frightened to tell them since I have often heard my dad make disparaging remarks about gay people, i.e calling them “fags” and “queers”. While I understand the gay community uses the word “queer” as an affirming, positive word….be sure that is not my father’s intended use of the word.
I cringe when I hear him talk like this and I’m not even sure he doesn’t have his ideas about me. If he does it is even more hurtful that he would continue to use these words. My mom unfortunatly is quite controlled by my dad so she sits there and accepts his words.
I was wondering if you, Dr. Pinhas or anyone else have any words of wisdom on how I can best come out to them. I am tired of living a lie and want to be honest about who I am and live ny life with integrity.
I have had to “sneak” around when it comes to dating. I have never been able to bring over my significant other to meet them. It has even put a strain on our relationship since my b/f is totally out and his family totally accepts him. He has been very supportive but thinks it is to my detriment to stay in the closet.
All positive comments are welcomed….especially from those who have gone through this.
Thank you Dr. Pinhas for having a forum like this where psople can come and be honest about themselves and ask for help on a myriad of topics. I love reading your blog and think you are wonderful!
Mike, my answer to you, is so important that I wanted to blog about it under a new topic called Coming Out: Don’t Ask, Just Tell. Let me know your thoughts about what I communicated to you. Anyone else, you can respond to Mike, Cindy, Jay or me here or on the other blog topic. We would all love to hear from others.
I give kudos to Jay and what he did, that was a very brave thing for him to do. I am gay myself and nobody in my family knows and I am terrified to tell them. Nobody should tell another person how to live their life and to hear someone say that is sickening. My own mother has in fact said to me that she will send me to a rehab center to get “cured.” It is absolutely heartbreaking, you cannot ask someone to change themselves to make another person happy. Love is love no matter if you are gay or straight. For this simple reason I have decided to stay in the closet until I’m out of the house but yet it is so hard to do. Thank you Dr. Pinhas for making this blog where people can talk and be open about themselves.
Dr. Pinhas, I had no idea of the homophobic legislation being proposed in Uganda and other countries. Its extremely saddening that even in 2010, people’s sexual orientation is still the subject of other peoples opinions and even their laws. I have learned so much from your class and I wish that everyone could learn to be as open and respectful of each other as you teach your students to be. I can’t believe what Uganda is proposing to do, and I am definitely going to investigate further and see if there is anything I can do to help show support for the gay community. I agree with Tracy, love is love and I would never want someone to tell me who I can or cannot be with and I don’t think anyone (or any government) should have the right to be able to do so either.